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Troy and I are not fighters. We are not perfect and we do get frustrated with each other but we deal with it in our own ways...not through fights. We are neither one confrontational people and that is part of what makes us work so well together. The only time Troy has ever raised his voice at me has been when I'm sick. Before you get mad at him, let me explain...
In high school I had an obsessive need to have perfect attendance. I had a crazy allergic reaction (lips the size of Donald Ducks) to strep throat in the middle of the school day that forced me to leave and visit a doctor. I insisted on going to back to school as soon as the doctor gave me a shot that brought my lips back to normal. I missed my 3rd period class that day and as a result did not get a certificate of perfect attendance at graduation time. I know there is no way I could have avoided going to the doctor that day, but even to this day I am sad that I did not get that perfect attendance.
In college (at my very first job) I was well into my 2nd year before I called in sick. The guilt I felt for calling in to work sick was overwhelming. I ended up in the hospital that day (and for the next several days) with kidney stones. There was no reason for me to feel guilty for missing work...I was in the hospital!
When I was a store manager at Dress Barn I felt even more pressure to never take time off. I can't remember ever taking a whole day off, but I do remember calling in to work a shorter day. I later found out that the girls I worked with spent a lot of time gossiping that first time I was sick, trying to figure out what was wrong with me, because I had never called in sick before. They were convinced I was pregnant.
I still have a huge feeling of guilt anytime I need to take off work for an illness. I never call in sick on Thursday (supply ordering day, and I order the supplies) and I try not to call in sick on Wednesday (supply counting day). I never call in sick if I think someone else isn't feeling well and there is a chance they might call in sick too. I try not to call in sick if someone is on vacation. Sick on a Monday or a Friday...people might think I'm faking it. When I do call in sick I always try to think about whether or not I might be even more sick the following day, because calling in sick 2 days in a row has never been an option for me, so I need to plan accordingly.
I am stubborn and completely unreasonable when I am sick. I need someone to knock some sense into me and tell me I am acting foolish.
I am much better now about actually using my sick days and that is because of Troy. I still get sick to my stomach before I make the call and often spend the day curled up in a ball wondering if I should have gone to work anyway, but at least I am home getting rest.
Troy doesn't fight with me, he fights for me. The only time Troy doesn't hesitate to tell me that I'm a fool is when I refuse to call in sick to work. He got mad at me this morning because I wouldn't call my boss and admit I needed time off (it's Thursday and I already called in sick once this week). I shut the bathroom door and cried because I had disappointed my husband, but I went to work anyway.
Even though I am stubborn and don't always take his advice, I do appreciate it. Troy is great at taking care of me when I sick. He will cook and keep my glass of water fresh. He always makes a trip to Walgreens to get me medicine. He keeps the volume on the tv turned down and doesn't complain when I want to go to bed at 7:30. When I think I need to go to work no matter what, Troy tells me I am an idiot and need to stay home and sleep.
Thank you, honey, for caring enough to tell me that you disagree with my decision. My sweet moment today was each time you got frustrated with me this morning and told me to stay home. It is only because you care so much that you are willing to step outside your normal comfort zone and give me a dose of reality.