Agree to Disagree

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Be patient and have faith that the answers you are seeking will become known when the time is right. 

The other night we were slowly making our way through rush hour traffic when I spotted a pro-choice bumper sticker that I thought was very witty.  Troy disagreed.  How had we made it 4 plus years together and not known that we are on opposites of this issue? 

It wasn't long after we started dating that I noticed Troy was agreeing with every opinion I had.  It was amazing how we had the exact same taste in everything, until I realized he was reading my facial expressions so he could give me the "correct" response.  I remember the exact moment this all became very clear to me.  I was holding up a pair of earrings, asking for his opinion, and when I looked over at him to see why he was hesitating in his response I knew right away that he was trying to figure out if I loved the earrings, or if I was being sarcastic and really thought they were hideous.  I love that he wants to make me happy by finding things we agree on, but I knew I could not have a relationship with a man who would not voice his true opinion.

Troy has come a very long way (and me too).  He still politely agrees with me when the time is right (yes, that eyeshadow does make you look just like Jennifer Aniston), but also knows that it is important to voice his (and mine) own opinion.  It still catches me off guard when he disagrees with me, and at first I am often stunned and a little hurt, but overall I am thankful that he is voicing his real opinion, and not just giving me the answer he thinks I want.

Why did it take us 4 years to find out we would be holding up opposing signs at a pro-choice protest?  Our personal (just for us) views on the issue are the same, and when it comes down to it, we are neither one going to be the first to throw stones at someone who makes a decision that we disagree with.  While we both believe that abortion would never be an option for us, we disagree on whether or not others should be allowed to make that decision for themself.  I respect Troy's opinion and I do not judge him for it, just as I hope he respects mine and thinks no less of me for it.  When it comes down to what really matters (the two of us) we have the same opinion, and that is much more important than which bumper sticker we agree with.  We agreed to disagree and moved on to another topic. 

Today I am thankful for those moments that Troy chooses to disagree with me because it reminds me of how much I prayed for him to do just that in the beginning of our relationship.  I could choose to see a disagreement as a bad sign in our relationship, or I can see it as an answer to a prayer.  Our relationship is secure enough that we can agree to disagree without holding it over each others heads.  It took me four years to see the answer to my prayer.


  1. that's so profound, Misty. I wish more people could take the view that you do...what really matters is between the two of you.
    hugs, Jami


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