Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Continue on

Flowering Tree from imgfave

I had Spring on my mind today.  I wanted to look at pictures of green grass, flowers, and budding trees.  I daydreamed about blue skies and chirping birds.  I'm not sure why I had the sudden fascination with a season that is still 3 months away, but perhaps it was because Spring symbolizes new beginnings, much like the beginning of a new year.  We are about ready to put up a new calendar and for many that is a reminder to let the past go and focus on the excitement that comes with the beginning of a new year.

I had a pretty great 2010 filled with lots of love and plenty of laughter.  I had bad days, but they were far outweighed by the good ones.  I am so thankful to be living such a blessed life. 

2010 has thrown plenty of dreary days into my sunny mix.  I remember days that I sat in the bathroom at work and hoped no one would hear my crying.  There was a time this year I was so upset with Troy that I had to take a couple days to calm down before I could even talk to him about it.  For about a month earlier in the year I went to bed every night and cried and prayed that I would find what I needed to fill the hole I felt in my heart.  There was a particularly hard month where we ate pancakes for dinner a couple times a week because the box of pancake mix cost less than two dollars and will provide at least 10 meals for the 2 of us.  I may write a blog about the sweet moments in my life, but that doesn't mean that my life is exempt from the rotten moments too. 

Those moments are like the raisins in an oatmeal cookie.  I do not like raisins, but if the cookie is sweet enough I don't mind a few raisins mixed into the dough.  I would prefer to replace them with sweet chocolate chips, but we don't always get what we want.    My year had plenty of raisins in it, but I would still say that it has been a very blessed (and sweet) 2010. 

I am not going into 2011 looking for a new beginning.  I do not want to put this year behind me and start fresh again.  I have learned from my hard times and need to take those memories with me as we go into a new year.  I do not want to make the same mistakes or forget the lessons I've learned and so I will gladly keep those moments tucked away in a safe place to be pulled out as needed. 

The calendar may come to an end, but for me 2010 is still to be continued...

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