I'm back! Did you miss me? Don't answer that...unless your name is Pat, and in that case I already know the answer, so please feel free to tell me (again) how much you missed my blogging!
My computer was sick. Several doctors checked it out, and it wasn't looking good, but then they realized it needed a heart (hard drive) transplant. I'm happy to report that the computer is doing much better, although like any transplant patient it is still recovering. I'm doing my best to break it in :)
I was sick. I have a history of kidney stones, so when I woke up in the middle of the night with stabbing back pain I knew right away what was going on. Have you ever had kidney stones? They hurt! Imagine a porcupine trying to crawl through a garden hose, only it's inside your body. Yep, it's that painful. The only thing you can do (as the doctor so kindly reminded me) is "hurry up and wait". You flush as much water through that hose as you can in hopes that the porcupines (yes, I had three of them) will slip on a slick spot and rush out a little earlier than anticipated.
I went to the ER in hopes of finding a way to control the pain (hello pain killers), and that was a tough decision for me to make. I paced around the house for hours before finally waking Troy up and telling him to take a shower because I needed a designated driver. (Note to self: Troy does not drive fast at night, even if we are on our way to the ER. Remember this in the future.)
You know how you see people on TV screaming at the doctors and nurses because they are in pain? I was the complete opposite. I was determined to NOT be the crazy patient they all talked about around the lunch table (I watch too much Grey's Anatomy). I asked about their kids, what time they were supposed to go to lunch (again...Grey's Anatomy), and joked around with them after they filled my bladder and then wouldn't unhook me from the IV so I could empty it. You know what I was thinking about that whole time...my dad! I was being rolled through the halls, my legs shaking from the pain, and I kept thinking "what would dad do?" And so I smiled, made sure to tell everyone please and thank you, and I did my best to make sure that everyone that came into my room felt at ease. They gave me two shots of morphine and a prescription for some strong pain killers to take home, but the best medicine I received all day was when the doctor told me I was the most pleasant patient he had. My pain didn't matter in that moment, because I had made my doctor smile.
As I was in the ER with my kidney stones I was making small talk, and joking around with the doctors, nurses, techs, or anyone that came into my room. I am not a comedian (although sometimes I pretend to be), but I felt a rush every time I made them smile. Do you think trips like these bring out the best in us? Do they bring out the worst? Is it different for each person? Perhaps I was just trying to keep my mind focused on something else.
I know that when I look back on each time I have had kidney stones I have been really stressed out. I tend to hold things in and by doing that I am not allowing my body to do what it needs to do to keep me safe and healthy (and to keep me from giving large chunks of my paycheck to the hospital). I internalize everything until finally my body has no choice but to fight against those ugly porcupines.
Lesson learned, or at the very least, acknowledged.