Saturday, March 12, 2011

How we started

Our very first picture together

A friend asked me to write about how Troy and I met.  I've told the story many times, but I don't think I've every actually blogged about it.  I can't tell a short version of the story without doing it justice (at least to me) so get comfortable before you continue reading.

The beginning of our story always reminds me that I am where I am meant to be.  Troy and I constantly talk about how different our lives would be if we had just changed one thing in our past.  I am thankful we have lived our lives the way we have because they have brought us to where we are today, and that is an excellent place to be.   Here is my version of how our story started with 5 things that stand out to me as examples of how things happen for a reason. 

We met through an online dating site (this is where most people gasp and try to hide the shocked look on their face) and I remember that Troy had a top ten list of things that I (or any interested woman) should know about him.  I made the first move and contacted him to let him know that I thought his list was clever, and funny.  We started emailing back and forth and just as he started to turn from some random guy into Troy - the nice, funny guy I was emailing - he disappeared.  He just stopped returning my emails for no apparent reason.  Oh well, time to move on to the next guy.  His loss!

More than a month later he returned one of my emails, as though no time had passed, and for some reason I let him off the hook and we picked up where we had left off.  1. The funny thing is I was going through my email address book that day and was about to delete him when he sent me an email.  We attempted to talk on the phone many times...well I attempted to call him, or sat by my phone when he said he would call, but his phone was always conveniently "unavailable" at the times we had scheduled to talk.  That phone got left at a friends house and at work; it never seemed to be charged; and when all else fails he claimed to be asleep and didn't hear it ring.  He was nervous and that made me like him even more.  Nervous about talking to me?  I was flattered!  Eventually I got him to answer that darn phone and shortly after that we planned to meet up for our first date.

I stood in the restaurant, watching the doors, feeling as though I was about to get stood up.  First dates are always a little nerve wracking and for some reason Troy seemed to have an extra amount of butterflies.  2. Looking back on it all now I  realize that it was important for him to be nervous and for me to be aware of that nervousness.  I went into the situation with more confidence than normal and I knew that I needed to help him feel comfortable.  That is just one of the many things that had to happen for our story to work out the way it did.  If we had both been nervous the date could have gone very differently.  Thank goodness he worked through the butterflies and showed up that night!

For our date Troy had planned dinner followed by a round of mini golf and somewhere between the windmill and the water hole he found his confidence and asked to extend the date, so we ended the night playing a couple games of pool.  This is where I started to realize that we were both rating this date on completely different levels.  I had enjoyed the evening, but not to the extent that he had.  That is a terrible feeling, because good or bad, I wanted us to be on the same level so that no feelings were hurt.

What Troy didn't know is that I was not necessarily looking for anyone special at that time.  I had given it a lot of thought and decided that I needed to just have fun and go out on dates so that I could figure out what I was looking for.  I needed to figure out what it was I did, or did not like so that I could narrow it down in my future searches.  3. Troy was research.  In fact Troy was just research subject number 1 of 3 I had lined up for that weekend.  Thanks for the good time, but I have more research subjects waiting for me! 

I had no interest in going out with him again, but he wasn't willing to take no for an answer.  He had found his confidence and he was going to do whatever it took to keep me around.  I was honest with him and told him that I thought he was nice, funny, and oh so sweet but I just didn't feel any sparks.  He knew there was something there and asked me to give him a second chance.  4. Even though I told him that I didn't feel like there was any hope for us, he still wanted to plan date number two, and so we gave it another chance. 

We had a good time, but nothing spectacular happened.  It did go well enough that I agreed to a third date, although I still wasn't sure this was going anywhere. 

5. I met him at the restaurant for our third date with tears in my eyes.  It should have been clear to me in that moment that he was "the one".  Here I was meeting up with a guy I barely knew and starting the date off with tears.  He didn't get scared, in fact he was amazing and listened to me talk about it through dinner.  How did I not realize he was the one for me right then? 

6. This was the most memorable night of my life.  It was raining and after dinner we ended up seeking shelter inside Barnes and Noble.  We grabbed books full of questions (conversation starters) and pulled two chairs into a quiet corner.  I remember sitting there, watching the rain fall, seeing our reflections in the mirror.  We sat there and talked for hours and that was when I knew he would no longer have to persuade me into another date.  I wanted to keep talking to him for....well, forever. 

Everything happens for a reason.  In the month that Troy took a break from emailing me I talked to several other guys from the internet dating website and gained a little more self confidence.  I would need that boost to my self confidence to push our relationship forward when Troy was nervous. 

Everything happens for a reason.  During the time that we were not communicating I got a promotion at work that put me in a new office an hour away from home.  The new office just happened to be 10 minutes from Troy's home which made it much easier for us to find a time and place to get together.  We had our first date during my very first week at the new office. 

Everything happens for a reason.  I had dates with 3 different guys that weekend and since Troy was the first one I did not feel a lot of pressure to make it work.   Because of this, I was completely able to just be myself, and not worry about impressing him.  I was there to have fun and we did!

Everything happens for a reason. What kind of a crazy man insists on a second date after being shot down?  I told him that I did not want to go out with him again and that I did not have any feelings for him.  He didn't seem to care, or hear, anything I said.  He just kept asking me for a second date until I said yes.  I love him for this!

Everything happens for a reason. I started our third date off crying about a work issue.  I knew this was a stupid thing to do, but I am a crier and could not help it.  There is not a whole lot of room for the date to go any further downhill after that and so once again I felt completely free to be myself because I didn't figure I could screw the date up anymore than I already had.  That was the night I fell in love. 

When someone escapes death people say that there is still something left here on Earth that the person needs to do.  There is a reason they did not die.  We don't always get to find out what our reason is and there are lots of important things we do in life that we are not even aware of.  Every one of us makes a difference and touches the lives of people without knowing it.

Troy and I fit together.  He makes me laugh and he challenges me and I love him for both.  I am happy with him and so crazy in love!  I can not imagine that it would even be possible for there to be a better match for me than him. 

When I think of how our story started I know that there is a reason we were put together.  We make each other happy, but there is more for us to do.  Just like when someone escapes death so that they can finish what they need to do, so they can touch the lives they need to touch - there is a reason we were put together.  I don't expect to ever know what our reason is and I'm not looking for an answer, but deep inside I am confident that we are meant to be for reasons that are bigger than just the two of us.

Everything happens for a reason.

4 comments:

  1. aww, I love your post! It just reminds me of how I met my Man - online chatroom! and I also get the odd gasp when I talk about it! I also believe that everything happens for a reason, and I love the way you tell your story! Thank you for sharing :)

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  2. Great story! I agree that there is some sort of destiny or purpose at work when we find love. It is magic! :)

    At first it seemed odd, but I am getting very used to hearing about how my friends met their partners online - I think it is totally normal/common now.

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  3. You hear about more and more couples that met online all the time. Thank goodness for the wonderful world of online dating, because we both needed the slow beginning with lots of emails back and forth to ease us out of our shy shells.

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  4. Thanks, Misty! I really enjoyed reading your story! I LOVE 'love stories'!! *sigh* :)

    Holly

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