Happiness Party (in my head tomorrow) by Martha Stewart
Friday was a rough day. I was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted by lunch time and I was only half way through the day. I had to give myself a pep talk before leaving the lunch room and returning to my desk...thank goodness there was no one else in there at the time! By the time I got home I didn't know if I needed to ease my aching muscles in the hot tub or ease my heart with a good cry and my brain had turned to jello and was unable to make a decision.
I was sitting in the hot tub that night reviewing my day and all the things that were weighing on my mind. The extra physical duties that I had done that day did not bother me and in fact I somewhat enjoyed being completely exhausted at the end of the day. The scraped knuckles, numerous paper cuts, and twisted ankle would go away and were temporary proof that I had done more than type away at the computer all day. The looooong to-do list would still be waiting for me on Monday and I will be able to go into the day knowing what to expect. I would be mentally prepared.
The real problem was that I had a big spot in my heart that was holding an unreasonable amount of anger towards someone. I was struggling to let go of the anger I was feeling. Earlier in the day I had realized that I was letting this person decide what kind of day I would have and I had tried to change my attitude by singing one of my favorite "calm" songs, but it was short lived. I probably spent 20 minutes complaining about this person and my day to Troy on the way home that night. I could not let go of the negative.
As I was sitting in the hot tub I knew I needed to let my anger and frustration go. I was gaining nothing by being so upset. I was causing unnecessary pain to myself and putting negativity into the world when I voiced my complaints to others.
And so I told myself to let it go. I took a deep breath and released the anger and the frustration. Yes, that sounds cheesy, but it worked. I felt my shoulders relax and tension in my back began to ease itself away. I made the decision that this person did not deserve to have this kind of control over my life and I took the control back.
I worked hard that day and I should have been celebrating and patting myself on the back. I decide if I'm having a good day or a bad day, not someone else, it's all up to me. I made the decision to let anger build up inside of me and I made the decision to spread that negative attitude to others. I choose my attitude and I chose a poor one that day.
Tomorrow I go back to work and it is going to be another day very similar to Friday, but this time will be different because I am not going to let someone else decide my mood for me. Even if the day is a repeat of Friday I know that there is no sense in letting myself get upset. I will focus on the positive and I will remind myself that I choose my attitude...and I will choose the right one this time!