Angry Bird cakepops from here
The other day I was in the checkout line at the drug store and I got upset with the cashier, because he would not let me have a discount I felt I should have gotten. I was upset with the cashier, but I'm fairly confident that I was not rude to him. I am not good at letting people know that I am angry with them, so even though inside I was imagining steam coming out of my ears I'm fairly certain I was still polite on the outside. In fact I even recall telling him thank you, so I probably was not rude. The confidence that I was still polite really helped me work through the issue. If I felt I had been rude to him I guarantee I would have gone back to the store and apologized.
I was very disappointed in myself for getting so upset with him. He was just doing his job, but boy-oh-boy was I mad at him. I had a hard time letting it go and even listed it as my "low point" when recapping the day with Troy in bed that night. It really bothered me that I let myself get angry with a man who did not deserve it. I was no longer upset with him, just with myself. I was not upset about not getting the discount. I was mad at myself for being upset. Why did I let such a small thing get to me so much?
Am I too hard on myself? It's ok to be frustrated sometimes.
Should I have shared some of that frustration with the cashier instead of keeping it all inside? I know many people that would have done this, but it's never been my style.
Here is what I think: anger is not one of the most common emotions being pulled up out of my emotional bank. I strive to find happiness and to look for the good in all people, so when anger was quick to show up it caught me off guard. Yes, I get angry, but it typically takes a lot for me to get there. It scared me that that emotion showed up so freaking fast. It made me uncomfortable and I was afraid it would happen again if I didn't get it under control.
Here is what I know: I don't enjoy anger. It makes me uncomfortable and I don't want it to be part of my every day life. Yes, it's a necessary part of life, but I prefer to make it a minor part of my life.
I recently came across this quote: "I'm beginning to suspect that the world is divided not only into the happy and the unhappy, but into those that like happiness and those who, odd as it seems, really don't." -C.S. Lewis
I think that some people enjoy being angry. I don't understand it and it's not for me, but that is where some people find comfort. I wonder if those people are able to find comfort in happiness, or does it make them as uncomfortable as the anger did to me the other day?
Do you have an emotion that makes you feel uncomfortable? Are you quick to get jealous, or easily scared? Perhaps you don't like feeling surprised or caught of guard. What emotion do you try to keep away?